Admittedly, I am the worst when it comes to blogging. In the past 5 years, I’ve started countless blogs which all met their demise fairly quickly. However, I love the idea of blogging. There is something so intriguing about being able to post anything you’d like onto the internet for all to read. The problem is – it rarely ever gets read. Which, in turn, is why I gave up all of those times. I’m the queen of giving up. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Or in my case, when the going gets tough – the tough take a nap and then never try again.
Welcome to the brain of the quintessential pessimist, where it is much easier to offer a weak excuse as to why not rather than to fight for it.
As you can tell by the time stamp, it’s January 1st. The first day of the new year, when you are incredibly restless and grabbing at any possibility to find something that’ll make your 2015 “the best year ever!” You are currently reading my feeble attempt at making that quote happen. This is where my pessimism with a shot of realism comes into play, because I ultimately do assume that this blog will be thrown into the same grave as all other blogs that came before it. But you know, it’s 2015 – so why the hell not try again?
A large part of me believes that the reason why my previous blogs have failed before was that I was trying too hard to fit a mold, and be someone else. You look at beauty bloggers with their perfect hair, make up and well…perfect everything and it’s down right enviable. Then you have the DIY bloggers who magically install tile perfectly the first try, bust out their Canon DSLR and take the perfect photo to catalog how awesome they are. Let’s not forget the food bloggers who just whip up the best ever dinner featuring all of the amazing finds they added to their basket at Whole Foods.
It’s getting to the point where it’s almost nauseating.
Don’t get me wrong. I do not begrudge these bloggers for being “perfect” because I do understand that underneath the blog surface they are probably living in squalor with everything they own strewn about but can still take the perfect photo at just the right angle where we are none the wiser to their filth. They clearly have a gift, and that’s awesome.
I do not have that gift, and pretending like I do is not apart of my 2015 “Work on what you can, but be yourself – even if you kind of suck” mentality.
This is where my realism comes into play.
2015 is going to be the year where I do a lot of soul searching, and really let myself live and not be strapped to my baggage. God, I hate that word. Baggage. But, until Webster comes up with another adjective to describe a life times worth of bullshit – baggage will have to do.
Alas, welcome to this blog which will inevitably be a mishmosh of just about everything. You know, the usual – me being bitter, surly, sarcastic with a pinch of “Jesus Christ, could that new NARS eyeshadow pallet be any more fucking gorgeous?”, to full on crazy cat lady. Because that’s who I am and I’m going to embrace that shit.
Family and perfect bloggers beware.
Until the next time,
– Jessica
Jessica Audacious 